America introduces tough new background checks for buying doors

Saying it was the only way to stop senseless school shootings, Texas Senator Ted Cruz introduced a bill that would require Americans over 18 to undertake thorough background checks before buying a car. new door or other entrance facilities.

Cruz, who blamed last week’s shooting at Uvalde on the abundance of doors at schoolsaid the number of gates in the United States had been allowed to grow unchecked.

“Do you know how many doors we have in this country? More than 1.8 billion. More than six doors for every man, woman and child in America. That’s 1.8 billion opportunities for a crazed killer to commit one of these massacres, and it’s time to stand up to Big Door and other interest groups and say ‘enough!’

Under the proposal, Americans wishing to purchase a door would have to undergo a background check, wait four weeks before receiving delivery of the door, and then keep the door locked at all times, with the key kept in a separate area. Larger gates will require a license and people with a history of mental health issues will not be allowed to access the gates at all.

A spokesperson for Mom’s Against Doors (MAD) – a Republican-aligned lobby group – said Doors background checks were the only way America would see a reduction in school killings. “When my son goes to play with a friend at a friend’s house, I have to ask the parents if they have gates and, if so, where they are kept. I don’t want my child to grow up in a country like that”.

Cruz denied claims that gun ownership could be partly responsible for the shootings, saying “guns don’t kill people, doors kill people.”

UPDATE: The anti-door legislation now looks unlikely to pass Congress after door makers provided multi-million donations to leading Republican senators.

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