ASK AMY: Singleton does the chicken dance at the wedding

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Dear Amy: I am a 30 year old (generally satisfied) single woman.


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My mother is getting married in two months.

She’s already tried to put me in a relationship with her fiancée’s nephew (uh, no), as well as a former employee (good guy but not for me).

Now her fiance has decided that the wedding is the perfect time to introduce me to all of her single coworkers (no, just no).

Add to that all the well-meaning aunts who ask me when I’m going to find a “nice man and settle in”.

I began to dread this day.

My solution? Make my own appointment.

There will be no annoying facilities if I already have an appointment. I would still have to answer inappropriate questions from aunts, but at least I wouldn’t have to deal with them alone.

Four months ago I signed up for a dating app and since then I’ve been reminded of why I’m happily single.

With the wedding only two months away, should I admit defeat and go alone?


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I also feel that this marriage is not the best time for a possible “meet the parents” twinning.

Your ideas?

– Intended to be undated

Dear undated: I have a vague memory of having seen this basic plot in a film by Debra Messing… what was her name? Oh yes – (check Wikipedia) – the “wedding date”. The character of Debra Messing hires a male escort as the date of her wedding.

Hilarity ensues. Love blooms.

The obvious solution – at least to me – is for you to bring a friend (male or female) on a date, with the express intention of that person serving as the wing person. Their role would be to keep the random singletons away and, if necessary, use a serving tray from the buffet table as a shield to protect you from curious aunts.

Either way, keep a sense of humor about this boredom. Having people trying to put you in place may make you feel like you’re somehow inadequate the way you are (you’re not), but the intention is usually benign: people who assimilate happiness in being in a relationship thinks you are wonderful.


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Your problem has the foundation for a pretty solid romantic comedy, so after the wedding is over you might want to write it down.

Dear Amy: I recently celebrated my 70th birthday.

It was truly a day to remember for me, except for one thing.

My best friend over 40 hasn’t called or sent a card or a gift.

I received an acknowledgment on Facebook, but it was nothing of note.

We live within five minutes of each other and see each other frequently.

We were together a week after my birthday. Again, she never mentioned it.

We didn’t have an argument.

I never miss her special day. I gave gifts and I always call on his birthday.

I am hurt and angry. At this point, I just want the ghost.

Help this old lady get over this friendship breakup.


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– Sad at seventy

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Dear sad: Turning 70 is a milestone anniversary, but please don’t turn that disappointment into a break from a decades-long relationship.

It is not clear from your account if your friend’s behavior towards you on this birthday was different from other years.

When a friend’s behavior towards you changes or is confusing, the most obvious conclusion would be to ask yourself what could be going on in their own life.

Before the ghost, it would be nicer with both of you to explore this in a simple and transparent way: “I have to admit I was disappointed you didn’t call on my birthday. It was a big deal for me, and I felt like you missed it. Didn’t seem normal to you, and I wonder if you are okay? “


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Hope you can purify the air so that you have many more opportunities to celebrate each other.

Dear Amy: This great aunt appreciates your sensitive advice to the mother who is frustrated with the repeated requests for gift lists from her partner’s family.

Lists will not prevent her children from receiving gifts they don’t like.

There will still be learning moments.

Hope she will be rewarded, as our family were when a 4 year old opened a package that was not what he expected, given the shape and size.

He looked at it and said happily, “It’s not what we wanted, but we love it.”

– Grateful list user

Dear grateful: When I was four, I opened a set of steak knives for my mom. I still remember how desperate I was to keep them.



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