Sometimes I wake up with my wife masturbating. Should I reach out to her? | wild love | Detroit

Click to enlarge "Should I offer a hand (or a dick) next time?" -JOE NEWTON

Joe Newton

“Do I offer a hand (or a dick) next time?”

I’m a heavy sleeper, and my wife knows it, but not so heavy that I don’t wake up when she periodically masturbates next to me and the bed shakes pretty hard. She doesn’t know it wakes me up. How to handle this? Should I offer a hand (or a dick) next time? Talk to her when she’s not having her moment and ask her if she feels like our sex life is lacking? Or just give up and keep pretending I’m still sleeping when this happens? Our sex life seems otherwise healthy to me.

—Nocturnal incidents that break out require investigations to elucidate

The woman masturbating in the middle is not in itself proof that your sex life is lacking, NITENITE. She most likely wakes up excited at 3am and rubs one back to sleep. You can and should tell her over breakfast — with a loving, encouraging smile on your face — that you sometimes wake up when she’s masturbating and that you’re happy to help. But if all your wife wants and/or needs at 3 a.m. is a quick orgasm, she may not be interested in a full-fledged sex session. And if “helping her out” means she has to get you off before she can get back to sleep, NITENITE, don’t be surprised if she passes (and slips out of bed the next time she needs to jerk off) .

Gay man here with a question about the topping. I was a top with my boyfriend in college, but mostly became a bottom in my early twenties. I’m in my late thirties now and just got out of a ten year relationship, so I’ve been exploring a lot and rediscovering what I want in bed. Even though I have a lot of experience as a bottom, I feel a bit like a fish out of water when I’m in the lead. The guys I’ve fucked have all been very complimentary, so it doesn’t seem to be a problem with my technique, but it just isn’t as intense for me. Also, I’m not cut and I find that if I push deep inside someone, my foreskin pulls back completely while I’m inside to the point that it hurts. (This is especially a problem when a guy rides me.) I’m with a new boyfriend who liked the bottom for me, but it’s all messing with my head a bit, so I can’t just relax and get away from it all. fun in mind. Do I just have to accept that the filling is not for me?

—Orgasms below the trim

You might accept that topping isn’t for you and swear you’ll never have it forever…but that feels a little dramatic, SOFT, and a whole lot drastic. How about accepting this instead: Although you prefer the bottom over the top and your orgasms are better when you’re on the bottom, you also like the top once in a while, as long as you don’t push it too far. and/or that you don’t ride too hard. You may also want to accept compliments you have received on your head skill/style. Instead of assuming the guys you dominated are lying to you, give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re telling the truth: you’re a good top and the bottom is a good time for you. And with more SOFT experience, you’re more likely to become even better, earn more praise, and grow to appreciate more.

I am a 60 year old woman who has had many lovers. My current lover doesn’t like cunnilingus, which happens to be the only reliable way to make me cum. How to make cunnilingus more enjoyable for him? I thought about buying a box of whipped cream to “sweeten the deal”, but will that work?

—Exciting additives that make eating pussy a lark

It won’t work.

First of all, putting whipped cream on your clitoris and labia is not good for the pussy – and since whipped cream melts quickly after being applied to the body, EATMEPAL is not going to look sexy or taste good for a long time. Within minutes of emptying that box of whipped cream, you’ll look and smell like a puking newborn in your lap. Chocolate sauce, flavored lubes, whipped cream – none of these things have the power to turn someone who doesn’t like to eat pussy or suck dick into someone who does. Pussy is not a sundae, dick is not a candy bar. If cunnilingus is the only thing that makes you reliably cum, it’s a new lover you need, EATMEPAL, not a dairy product.

I am a man curious about wearing a male chastity cage. I take blood thinners and very rarely get erections due to my health issues, but I want to feel like wearing a cage. Are there any long term effects of wearing a penis cage for short periods that I need to be aware of? I’m just curious what it would be like to wear one.

— Look at mysterious pleasures

Everything will be fine, LIMP. I’ve spoken to a few urologists over the years about the risks of chastity cages for men, and their only concern was the potential damage to erectile tissue when a cock gets hard (or tries to) within the confines of a cage. If you rarely get hard – or do not get hard at random – there’s no danger in wearing one even for long periods of time, as long as it’s not too tight, LIMP, and you keep it clean .

I am a 20 year old young woman who has just started a new job. One of my new colleagues is a man in his twenties who doesn’t speak much English, but he made it clear to me that he was attracted to me. I found him on Facebook and realized he had a girlfriend in another country. So, it turns out he’s in a three-year relationship, but he can’t be with her right now. I’ve always viewed men in relationships as strictly “no go”, but I have an intense crush on this man and want to date him. I’m only interested in the hookup. I’m not looking for a commitment from him at all. Should I let him know that I’m attracted to him too and possibly ruin his relationship?

—Possibility of wrecking ball

Unless you’re planning on posting on Facebook about fucking this guy and tagging his girlfriend at home, I don’t see how to fuck you – even if he’s not supposed to fuck someone while they are separated – will automatically ruin his relationship. I hope he’s allowed to fuck other women while they’re apart like this, PWB, and I hope she’s allowed to fuck other guys. But even if he had to break the rules to get along with you, PWB, that doesn’t mean he’d break his heart…as long as you’re able to be discreet.

I heard you helped the pegging find its name. But is there a name for a man using a strap-on on a woman?

— Attached to a guy

In 2001, my readers decided – in a free and fair election – to call “pegging” the act of a woman fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on. Some pegging purists have argued that the word should continue to mean that and only that, but the language evolves and changes. These days, women hook men, men hook women, women hook women, men hook men, and enby hook all comers.

Is it OK to get a quick massage once a month if you hardly have sex in marriage?

—Reassess the limits included

It’s good for me.

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